Reflection 27: Heaven Over Harvard

Like I usually do, I was scrolling on my phone the other day. Just mindlessly flipping through Facebook while I had a few quiet minutes downtown. You know how the videos pop up — the ones that are supposedly curated just for you. A mix of faith content, family life, random things the algorithm thinks you’ll like.

One of those videos was from Lila Rose. She was answering questions — I don’t even remember what the original question was — but one line from her response stopped me in my tracks.

She said, “We should not be raising our kids for Harvard. We should be raising them for Heaven.”

And that stuck with me.

Because if we’re honest, the culture around us tells us something very different.

We’re told to start early. Put them in sports at two and a half. Get them in dance, soccer, baseball, softball — something. Keep them busy. Keep them competitive. Build the résumé. Make them stand out. Make them exceptional.

And sports themselves aren’t inherently bad. Extracurriculars aren’t bad. Discipline and teamwork are good things.

But somewhere along the way, they can become all-consuming. They become less about forming character and more about outperforming others. Less about joy and more about achievement.

We say it’s about making our kids “well-rounded.”
But are we asking if it’s making them holy?

The same thing happens academically. Push, push, push. Exceed expectations. Take the advanced classes. Get the highest GPA. Build the college application.

And again — hard work is good. Education is good.

But not every child can get into Harvard. Not every child is meant to. There are limited spots. There are different gifts. Different callings. Different paths.

As someone who works in higher education, I can confidently say this: not every student should go to college. And that is not because they’re not intelligent or capable. It’s because some students would absolutely thrive in a trade, in entrepreneurship, in creative fields, in hands-on work that lights them up in ways a lecture hall never could.

I’ve watched friends earn degrees they never used. I’ve watched others skip college entirely and build beautiful, successful lives doing something completely different.

So why do we push as if there’s only one version of success?

Why are we so focused on raising impressive children instead of raising faithful ones?

That quote — don’t raise your kids for Harvard, raise them for Heaven — keeps echoing in my mind.

Because at the end of the day, their GPA won’t matter if their soul is lost. Their résumé won’t follow them into eternity. Their trophies won’t testify for them before God.

But their character will.
Their love will.
Their faith will.

In an earlier post, I wrote about how our children are the only thing we can truly take with us — the only souls we directly shape that may one day join us in Heaven. And that perspective changes everything.

If Harvard happens as part of God’s plan? Wonderful.
If scholarships and accolades come? Beautiful.

But that cannot be the ultimate goal.

The goal is Heaven.

The goal is raising children who love God.
Who fear Him in the right way.
Who understand sacrifice.
Who choose virtue even when it costs them something.

That quote didn’t just challenge how I think about education. It affirmed something that’s been stirring in my heart for a while — this desire to pour myself more fully into my family. To focus less on worldly measures of success and more on eternal ones.

Because at the end of this life, I won’t be asked how impressive my children looked on paper.

I’ll be asked how I formed their souls.

And that changes the way I want to raise them.