Reflection 28: More Than Just One Day

Valentine’s weekend was a couple of weeks ago, and if I am being honest, Kierston and I have never really made a huge deal about it. Sometimes we go out to dinner, but usually not on Valentine’s Day itself. It is crowded. It is expensive. It feels over commercialized. So we usually pick another day or just keep it simple.

Yes, Saint Valentine is a saint. Yes, the day has meaning. But it is not necessarily a religious holy day, and we have always believed something deeper about love in marriage.

Love is not meant to be compressed into one evening a year.

If we are only intentional about cherishing our spouse on February 14, we are missing the point. Marriage is built in the ordinary days. It is built in the dishes, the diapers, the hard conversations, the forgiveness, the laughter after long weeks. It is built in choosing each other over and over again.

Your spouse should feel loved in March.
They should feel pursued in July.
They should feel cherished in October.

Not just on Valentine’s Day.

So instead of a fancy dinner this year, we decided to do something different. We signed up for a marriage retreat at our church.

And honestly, it was one of the best decisions we could have made.

The retreat was only $100 for the entire weekend. That included meals and childcare. Think about that. You could easily spend more than that on one Valentine’s dinner, and this was a full weekend dedicated to investing in our marriage.

Time alone.
Time to reflect.
Time to pray.
Time to reconnect.

I am genuinely excited. Excited to see what we will learn. Excited to step away from distractions. Excited to simply spend intentional time with my wife.

Marriage needs maintenance. It needs investment. It needs humility and growth. We can never assume that because our foundation is strong, it does not need reinforcement. If anything, the stronger the foundation, the more intentional we should be about protecting it.

My hope going into this retreat is simple. I hope we come out of it with a renewed outlook on our marriage. I hope our relationship with Christ deepens. I hope our bond with each other grows stronger. And I hope we walk away with practical tools to continue building the life we have started together.

If you have never been on a marriage retreat, I am already going to recommend it. Growth should never stop. Not spiritually. Not personally. Not in marriage.

Loving your spouse well is not about grand gestures once a year. It is about consistent, faithful investment.

And sometimes that investment looks like choosing a retreat over a reservation.