Reflection 40: From Judgement to Gratitude

It is easy to judge.

We judge our parents. Our spouses. Our friends. Our coworkers. Sometimes without even realizing it, we form expectations of who people should be and quietly hold them to those standards.

I have done this more times than I can count.

I have judged my parents, especially my dad, for who I thought he should have been. I held onto expectations shaped by my own perspective, without always recognizing the full picture of his life, his growth, or his efforts.

But something has been changing in me.

This Lenten season has been a time of reflection, and slowly, God has been shifting my perspective. Instead of focusing on flaws, I have started to notice growth. Instead of holding onto past disappointments, I have begun to see present grace.

And recently, that shift became very real.

One evening, I had to work late. I did not ask for help, and I did not expect anything out of the ordinary. But my dad knew I would not be home, and without being asked, he showed up.

He helped my wife with the kids.
He took them to dinner.
He helped get them ready for bed.

Then he quietly went home.

It might seem like a small moment, but for me, it was significant.

Because if I am being honest, there was a time in my life when I would not have expected that from him. And yet, there he was, stepping in, serving, and loving our family in a way that I had once doubted I would see.

That moment forced me to confront something in my own heart.

How often have I been so focused on who someone used to be that I failed to see who they are becoming?

God is always working. In all of us.

He softens hearts. He heals wounds. He transforms people in ways we cannot always see day to day, but that become undeniable over time.

And that includes me.

Because while I was judging, God was inviting me to grow. To let go. To forgive. To see with new eyes.

I can look back now and recognize that my relationship with my dad has changed over the years. Conversations are more open. Time together is more intentional. There is a deeper sense of mutual respect and understanding that was not always there before.

And I cannot take credit for that.

That is grace.

It is also a reminder that our role is not to condemn or define people by their past. Only God judges perfectly. Only He sees the full story.

Our role is different.

We are called to love.
To forgive.
To recognize when grace is at work.

Lent has been a powerful reminder of that for me. It has opened my eyes to the good in others and challenged me to replace criticism with gratitude.

Because when we shift our perspective, we begin to see what God is doing, not just in our own lives, but in the lives of the people around us.

And sometimes, the people we once judged become the very people who show us how God can transform a heart.