Reflection 50: More Than Just A Day

Valentine’s weekend came and went, and if I am being honest, Kierston and I have never made a big deal about it.

Sometimes we will go out to dinner, but rarely on Valentine’s Day itself. It is crowded, expensive, and often feels more commercialized than meaningful. Over the years, we have found ourselves either choosing a different day or simply keeping things simple.

Yes, Saint Valentine is a saint. Yes, the day carries meaning. But it is not a holy day that defines how we are called to love.

Because love in marriage was never meant to be compressed into one evening a year.

If we are only intentional about cherishing our spouse on February 14, we are missing the deeper call of marriage. Love is built in the ordinary. It is built in the daily sacrifices, the unseen acts of service, the patience in stressful moments, and the forgiveness when it is hard. It is built in choosing each other again and again, even when life feels busy or overwhelming.

Your spouse should feel loved in March.
They should feel pursued in July.
They should feel cherished in October.

Not just on Valentine’s Day.

This year, instead of planning a dinner, we chose to invest in something different. We signed up for a marriage retreat at our church.

And honestly, it felt like a no-brainer.

The entire weekend was only $100. That included meals and childcare. When you think about it, that is less than what many couples spend on a single Valentine’s dinner. But instead of a few hours together, this was a full weekend intentionally set aside for our marriage.

Time to step away from distractions.
Time to reflect.
Time to pray.
Time to reconnect.

I am genuinely excited. Excited to learn more about how we can grow as a couple. Excited to spend intentional, uninterrupted time with my wife. And excited to see how God moves within our marriage through this experience.

Marriage does not thrive on autopilot.

It requires maintenance. It requires humility. It requires consistent investment. Even the strongest foundations need to be reinforced over time, and the busyness of life can quietly pull us away from that if we are not careful.

My hope for this retreat is simple. That we come out of it with a renewed perspective. That our relationship with Christ deepens. That our bond with each other grows stronger. And that we gain practical tools to continue building the life we are called to live together.

If you have never been on a marriage retreat, I would strongly encourage you to consider it.

Growth should never stop. Not spiritually. Not personally. Not in marriage.

Loving your spouse well is not about one grand gesture each year. It is about consistent, faithful investment over a lifetime.

And sometimes, that investment looks less like a reservation…

…and more like a retreat.