Reflection 55: More Than a Gift: Honoring the Life We’re Given

My wife’s birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and if I’m being honest, I did not celebrate her the way I should have. We went to Mass and out to eat, but I did not give her a gift, and I know that likely hurt her, especially because her love language is gift giving.

The reality is, we are in a tight financial season right now. We are preparing to move, trying to sell our current home, and navigating the uncertainty of timing and expenses. Because of that, we have been cutting back and avoiding unnecessary spending.

I even joked that her birthday gift was a new house. But the truth is, that is not really a gift for her. That is something for our whole family.

As I reflected on that day, I realized something deeper. Somewhere along the way, birthdays started to feel like just another day. Work still takes priority. Responsibilities do not pause. And we make excuses about why we cannot celebrate the way we used to.

But birthdays matter.

They are the one day each year that marks the gift of someone’s life. A day to recognize that God chose to bring that person into the world. A day to give thanks for who they are and the role they play in our lives.

And for our spouses, it should be a day of intentional love.

Not necessarily extravagant or expensive, but meaningful. Thoughtful. Set apart.

This experience challenged me to rethink how I approach not just birthdays, but all meaningful celebrations. Anniversaries. Baptism days. Feast days. These are moments where we can pause, step away from the busyness of life, and give thanks to God for the blessings He has given us.

We may not always be able to spend a lot of money. But we can give our time. Our attention. Our intention.

So moving forward, I am making a commitment.

I want to take my wife’s birthday off each year. I want to spend that day with her, doing what she loves. I want us to go to Mass together, to thank God for her life, and to celebrate the gift that she is to me and to our family.

Because loving your spouse well is not about checking a box or making excuses based on circumstances. It is about recognizing what matters to them and choosing to honor it.

And my wife deserves to be celebrated.