Reflection 62: Leadership Without Love Is Empty

I recently went to a convention with some of my students for a student government conference. One of the things I really pride myself on is giving students opportunities—helping them grow, step into leadership, and become who they’re meant to be.

But this year… it wasn’t what I expected.

There were a lot of things that didn’t go the way they have in the past, and I could go into all of that—but honestly, that’s not what stuck with me the most.

What stuck with me… was how people treated each other.

The blatant disrespect.
The harshness.
The complete disregard for other human beings.

And that is something I have zero tolerance for.

I cannot stand watching people be made to feel small, insignificant, unseen, unheard, or uncared for. I’ve felt that way before, and I would never wish that on anyone.

What bothered me most was that it wasn’t just students.

It was advisors too.

People in leadership positions—people who are supposed to model respect—were dismissive, harsh, and at times just outright unkind. And I don’t understand that.

I really don’t.

There seems to be this mindset, especially in leadership or political spaces, that you have to steamroll people to get your point across. That you can disregard feelings in the name of being “right” or “efficient.”

And I want to be clear—that doesn’t mean we lie to people or avoid hard conversations.

But there is a way to speak truth with care.

There is a way to treat someone like a human being while still disagreeing with them.

There is a way to lead without tearing others down.

Because at the end of the day, people are not problems to solve.
They are people to care for.

And somewhere along the way, I think we’ve forgotten that.

It’s one thing when something doesn’t go your way. It’s another thing entirely to respond by belittling others, dismissing their concerns, or making them feel like they don’t matter.

That’s not leadership.

That’s not strength.

And it’s definitely not what we’re called to as Christians.

The Lord calls us to love people.

Yes, we are called to truth. Yes, we are called to correct when needed. But we are never called to humiliate, to mock, or to make someone feel less than.

We are never called to make someone feel unworthy.

If anything, we are called to do the opposite.

To meet people where they are.
To speak with care.
To lead with humility.
To love—even when it’s hard.

And let’s be honest—it’s hardest when someone is rude to you first.

It’s easy to be kind when people are kind back.

It’s much harder to respond with patience and respect when someone is dismissive, harsh, or disrespectful.

But that’s exactly what we’re called to do.

And I’ll be honest—it’s exhausting to see the opposite happening over and over again.

It’s exhausting to watch people think it’s okay to make jokes at someone else’s expense, to dismiss someone’s voice, or to treat others like they don’t matter.

Because it’s not okay.

Not in leadership.
Not in friendships.
Not anywhere.

I see it on campuses. I see it in conversations. I see it in the way people talk to and about each other.

And I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of the normalization of disrespect.

I’m tired of people thinking kindness is optional.

I’m tired of watching people forget that the person in front of them is a human being.

And as a mom, this is something I think about a lot.

I pray that I raise my kids to be kind. To be respectful. To care about others—even when it’s inconvenient, even when it’s hard, even when they don’t get anything in return.

Because that matters.

How we treat people matters.

More than being right.
More than winning.
More than getting our way.

So the next time you’re tempted to dismiss someone, to make a joke at their expense, or to treat them like they don’t matter…

Pause.

Ask yourself:

Would I say this to Jesus?

Because Scripture is clear—what we do for the least of these, we do for Him.

And I don’t know about you…

But that changes everything.