Reflection 8: Growing Together as One

This blog is going to include both of our voices. My wife and I are one, and while we each bring different perspectives, our goal is the same. We want to share what it looks like to live out a domestic church in real life so that other families can grow deeper in their faith together.

You’ll hear from my wife, Kierston, and her story matters just as much as mine.

Kierston is also a cradle Catholic, but her experience growing up in the faith looked very different than mine. Faith in her home mostly centered around going to Mass. Outside of that, it wasn’t talked about much. Because of that, she learned more about her faith through retreats and working with different religious organizations rather than at home.

When she went to college, that foundation started to feel shaky. The school she attended didn’t have a strong Catholic presence or youth group, and over time she felt distant and less connected to her faith. Not because she didn’t care, but because she didn’t have community or guidance helping her stay rooted.

When we met and eventually got married, something really beautiful started to happen. I helped her grow in areas of faith where I felt confident, and she helped me grow in ways I didn’t even realize I was lacking. Together, we began to deepen our relationship with Christ and intentionally root our marriage in Him.

Before getting married, we did marriage prep, met with a deacon, and even went through marriage counseling. Through all of that, we learned that we were very compatible, but we also learned something else. We lacked communication. And honestly, that’s pretty normal.

We grew up in different households. The way you communicate with your parents, how conflict was handled, and what was modeled for you growing up all plays into how you communicate in marriage. That doesn’t magically fix itself once you say your vows. It’s something you have to learn, practice, and sometimes relearn.

During our first year of marriage, we had to grow up fast. We were expecting our first child that fall. We wanted to soak in every moment of newlywed life and build a strong relationship with each other, but at the same time we were preparing to become parents.

We actually thought getting pregnant would be difficult for us. By the grace of God, we conceived almost on the very first try. That definitely changed our timeline and forced us to pivot quickly into our new roles as mom and dad. Looking back, it’s kind of funny now, but at the time it felt overwhelming and holy all at once.

That first year taught us a lot. About sacrifice. About teamwork. About communication. And most importantly, about how necessary it is to keep Christ at the center when things feel rushed, messy, or uncertain.

There’s so much more to our story, and we’ll share more of it in future posts. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned so far, it’s this. Communication matters. A lot. And rooting your marriage in Christ gives you an anchor when conversations get hard, when expectations clash, and when life doesn’t go according to plan.

Building a domestic church doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built through small, intentional choices. Honest conversations. Grace for one another. And a shared commitment to keep God at the center, even when you don’t feel like you’re doing it perfectly.

Prayer:
Lord, help us communicate with patience, humility, and love. Teach us to listen before we speak and to see one another as You see us. Be the foundation of our marriages and our families, especially when things feel hard. Amen.

See you in the Eucharist.